I hope they’re already divorced so I can get more money

Also, I accidentally kissed my mom on the lips.

I had an Ej dream. There was food everywhere and you and I were freaking out.

If all of my friends die in a tornado, I’m steppin’ into the next one!

Where’d you go I miss you so seems like it’s been forever since I ate lunch with Chelsea and Maegan. Please come back home.

EJ is like my Yoda

I will push four hours from now and postpone forever.

I was sitting in chemistry and I was contemplating suicide the whole time. I was planning my own funeral. I was ordering the flowers online.

Everytime I come in here, Andrea’s toothbrush is holding my toothbrush. Like, fucking Romeo and Juliet. Or something.

THAT CAKE IS AS FUCKED AS THEIR LIVES.

Does he feel like a scumbag everyday of his life?!

Look at this asshole walking in the rain. No I’m not picking you up. Sorry.

Nectar. Hey. Listen to it. Nectar. Nectar. Nectar, nectar, nectar.